Class tonight

So here I am, sitting in the most boring class, listening to the most boring teacher and debating jumping out of the second story window to my ultimate doom. Not really, but it sounded dramatic, right?

Mrs. What's Her Name doesn't understand why nobody in here shares her passion for political science. Well, one guy does. I seriouslly think he wants to be with her. He's one of those creepy guys. A bum who probably gets more financial aid then me and doesn't have a job. I know that he doesn't have a job bc he asks what the date is every class. Anyone with a job knows exactly what day it is.

There is another girl in here. You can tell that she is trying to seem smarter than she is. She memorizes all of the definitions and then when the teacher is talking she interrupts her to state the definition that the book gives and then asks, "Right?" like she came up with the thought all by herself. Why are you asking if you're right when you just read it out of the book?

I find myself keeping my pages of definitions handy for the tests. I know it's not right to cheat, but it's also not right to subject perfectly normal people to such a boring class! I mean come on!! I work two jobs, live at home with parents who help me in no way with school, and get absolutely no financial aid. I am struggling here! Month to month I debate dropping out. It's only going to get more and more expensive.

I want to be a nurse. I am working on my prerequisites for the nursing program. It's expensive!! I go to community college and will have to remain here for the program bc its affordable. Yet my friend who had a baby right out of high school goes to a university on a full single-mother scholarhip for nursing and is such a loser she is failing all of her classes.

Explain that? I'm responsible and have no children; she gets knocked up like an idiot and gets rewarded. Hmmmm.... Lame. I could cry all day. Back to this lame ass class.

I sit in the back of the class bc I can be on my phone all night without bother. Everyone is on their phones so don't judge me. Class sucks. I remember those teachers who taught in a way that engaged students. Teachers who involve everyone in their lectures, and not just the same 2 brown-nosers, will have a much better class. Instead everyone hates her and nobody is listening to her go on and on about "preemption" and it's aspects.

Pshhhhh... Back to my TMZ app. Love the gossip.


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Why did I start a blog??

Basically I feel alone a lot of times. I feel like nobody understands what I am going through. I feel like my family secretly hates me, I feel like my boyfriend tries to make me feel crazy, and I feel like all of my dreams are never going to come true.

Basically I just wonder if venting this shit out will help me. Maybe someone else is going through some of the things that I am...


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Another Argument

After a long day at work I was finally home. I couldn't wait to just crawl into bed and finally get a nap in. The night before, he couldn't sleep so I decided to stay up with him. I offered to rub his back and tried to do anything I could to cheer him up. I didn't fall asleep until after midnight.

I had let him know ahead of time that I would be going straight to bed when I got home and he decided to go to the bar for a beer. I finally fell asleep and for the first time all day I wasn't cringing in pain from cramps.

When he got home, he crawled on the bed and was in my face trying to kiss me and I pushed him away. Not because I didn't want to kiss him but because I had just woken up. Well, he got pissy and walked out. I had told him that I was having a bad day and I just wanted to sleep. I know that he
meant well but I was kinda grouchy.

I felt bad and tried to apologize but he wanted to say something shitty like "Why did I come home?" and "You spent all night saying 'No' to me." The funny part of that is that he tried to get fresh with me the night before and for the first time I said 'No.' I didn't say no because I didn't want to have fun, I said it because I was sitting in a way that wasn't flattering for my stomach when he was tying to get under my shirt!! LOL!

Another misunderstanding blown out of proportion.

He climbed into bed after i tried apologizing and that knot built up in my stomach again and I couldn't relax. I grabbed my laptop and walked out to sit on my own and calm down. And what did he do? He grabbed his keys and left. I started crying, frustrated and over these stupid fights. I texted him and told him that I was upset that I can't have a bad day without being on my best behavior in fear of pissing off my pmsing boyfriend. He said that I made him feel like an asshole.

He showed up home again, coming into the room and slamming things around. Then he walked out to the front room to sleep. I just went in there and woke him up and asked him to come to bed. He snatched his hand out of mine and rolled over.

Whatever. I'm really tired of putting up with all of his stuff and understanding when he's mad and trying to not personalize things but he can't do the same for me. Im also tired of always trying to make it better We've been fighting a lot lately. It makes me sad. I love him but I don't love the way this has been feeling.

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My bad day...

Where should I start?