I feel horrible, but after all of the fighting I have finally ended it. I'm sad that it had to come to this but I feel very confident in my decision. I do love him - I really do, but some things just aren't meant to be.I gave him over a month and a half to find a place. He has made so many positive changes since we met and I really feel like this is the final necessary one. He needs to live on his own and so do I. I don't want to live with my boyfriend at my parents house, but I also don't want to move out of my parents house into an apartment with my boyfriend. I want to live on my own first.
Since I told him he was going to need to move out, things have been amazing. He says he is trying to make things less stressful for me but I hate it. I feel so riddled with guilt, like I am some giant piece of shit who is kicking out my amazing boyfriend. But things only got good like this recently after I gave him my decision. It's all just really hard. I'm not sorry that I was honest to him, though.
I think that it is time for me to get back to myself. I want to go back to the gym, spend more time with my friends, and focus on work. No matter what anyone says, when you are in a relationship sometimes, you loose all of your time to do all of those things for yourself. It's all of those little things that you can't loose or else eventually it will all catch up with you. I feel like I have, once again, focused all of my time and effort on the needs of someone else and I have lost myself along the way. I am 23 years old and not getting any younger. I need to do this for me, right now.
